Written by: Jeffrey S. Ram, Toronto, Canada, February 2, 2021
The wedding ties transform the independent lives of two individuals into an interdependent joint life. Two different lifestyles and personalities have to adapt, change and co-exist jointly as a couple. This merger demands compromises, adjustments, and accommodation of each other's likes, dislikes, and preferences.
One primary purpose of marriage is to procreate and start a family. With marriage comes the responsibility of raising together the next generation. The matrimonial alliance also binds the two families together.
A happy married life requires serious consideration of what the couple expects of each other and what they are able and willing to offer. The young man and woman should try to know each other before starting a serious romantic relationship or tying the knot. The selection of the right marriage partner is crucial for a happy life.
SOME SUGGESTED QUESTIONS AND CRITERIA
1. Do HE and SHE like/love each other? Will SHE and HE be romantically affectionate?
2. Are SHE and HE trustworthy, faithful, reliable, and responsible? Will they become each other's power and strength? Do they share some common interests like travelling, sports, cooking, music, and watching movies? Will they be good friends? Will they make a good team and match?
3. Do HE and SHE have good moral character? Are SHE and HE good human beings? Are HE and SHE kind-hearted, compassionate, caring, and sharing?
4. What are HER and HIS expectations from each other? What is HIS idea of a good wife, and what is HER concept of a good husband?
5. What are HIS and HER life-goals? What are HER and HIS career goals, and how will their life and family goals fit together?
6. What are HIS and HER ideas of a wife's role and place in the family? What are HER and HIS ideas of a man's role and place in the family? Will SHE be treated as equal? Will SHE be consulted in family decisions, and will the family decisions be joint?
7. Do HE and SHE believe in God? Faith in God is vital for sustenance during the dark days of life. Before the final decision, they should sort out if they have any differences in religious, cultural, and other values.
8. What are HER and HIS ideas about having children and raising them? What are HIS and HER views about children's education, especially about girls' education? Will HE make a good father? Will SHE make a good mother?
9. Are HE and SHE confident and secure? Do SHE and HE possess judgment and understanding?
10. In the modern age, marriage is an "equal economic partnership". Women also work outside the home. Will HE share the household chores and children's care, or does HE think this is a woman's job?
11. What are HER and HIS priorities? Will HE and SHE give top priority to their business/career or their family? Will they provide sufficient time to each other and children?
12. Will HE treat her with love, respect, and dignity? Will SHE treat him with love, respect, and grace? Will they be good role models of husband and wife for their children?
13. Do HE and SHE believe in teaching moral values to their children? Will they teach values by being good role models?
14. Are SHE and HE good money managers? Will the distinction of mine and yours blend into ours? Are they financially compatible? Do they have mutually agreed financial goals and priorities?
15. Who are HIS and HER friends? People are known by the company they keep and also by the company they do not keep.
16. Are SHE and HE intelligent, smart, and diligent?
17. Are HE and SHE hot-tempered and quarrelsome? Are SHE and HE calm, peaceful, and patient?
18. Are HE and SHE good listeners? Do SHE and HE hold their tongues?
19. Do HE and SHE have a positive attitude or a negative attitude towards life and its problems? Are SHE and HE optimists or pessimists?
20. Will HE or SHE allow the parents to interfere in their family life?
Note: These are some “general” suggestions. Please make your guideline to suit your distinct situation, circumstances, and needs.
CAREFULLY SELECT YOUR MR. RIGHT/MRS. RIGHT AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Marriage is a decisive step. The pain of a failed or unhappy marriage is greater than the strain of time and effort spent by both parties in taking precautions to check out if they will make a compatible couple or not. A well-informed and intelligent decision about life-partner selection by both would-be soul-mates is an essential pre-requisite to have a harmonious life, and happy home, and live happily ever after.
[Toronto, Canada-based, ReformAdvocate.com aims to help religious and racial minorities, immigrants and refugees, and other socio-economically weaker sections become powerful and prosperous. The subscription is free. Please subscribe.]
(if you have any suggestions to make the blog more effective and useful, please write to editor Jeffrey S. Ram at ram@reformadvocate.com)
WISH YOU AND YOUR SIGNIFICANT ONE A HAPPY ST. VALENTINE’S DAY ON FEBRUARY 14th.
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